Correspondence

As part of training, we get regular (usually three times daily) updates from our coach, via email. Now granted that there are about about 35 novices in the group, the mailing list is still being sent out to near two hundred people, so obviously there are lots of people who don't row, yet they are still being inundated by Neal's emails.

Last week, there was a rather amusing incident when I emailed everybody on the mailing list about hiring tuxedoes for next week's Boat Ball. When I found this response in my inbox, I was both puzzled and delighted at the hilarity of the situation.

Here was the original mail:

From: MJB

To: Novices mailing list

Hi guys

For anyone considering going to the Boat Ball, I just checked the rates with the place that I get my tuxes from.

They will do a group rate of €49.50 when there is a group of ten people or more. The normal hire rate for a tux is €75.00, so it's a good deal if there's a group of guys who want to hire tuxedoes.

The place is Aston Formalwear, in Temple Bar; so it's in Temple Bar around the corner from O'Connell Bridge, about three minutes away from Front Arch.

Anyway, it's an idea worth considering.

Regards

MJB

To which this reply came:

From: Cameron Kenny

To: Neal, MJB

Hi. can you all please delete me from your mailing lists? I keep trying to block one sender, and then someone else on this enormous contact list e-mails me again.

I'm a woman living in Montana. Please stop e-mailing me! :-) Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!

At which point, I couldn't but respond:

From: MJB

To: Cameron Kenny

Hi Cameron

Are you sure you don't want to rent a tux?

Regards

MJB

Bare Arsed Ballinteer

Google Street View went live for Dublin during the week and I'm just after seeing this little article in the Irish Times. Apparently two young fellas, with little else to do with their time, exposed their bare arses to the Streetview camera car as it drove past. The result is a full moon on a fine sunny day in Ballinteer.

Apparently people have being going wild about it on Twitter, with directions being given how exactly to find the house. Google have stepped into the furore, and blurred out the offending buttocks.

I have never used Streetview before, but I must have a wee gander at it now and see if my house comes up on it. I wonder what the weather was like and who was out walking on the day that they did my road. A lot of my friends tend to get lost in Drimnagh, saying that "it all looks the same". Maybe street view will be a remedy for that, at least they can practice getting here before they even leave home.

UPDATE: I've just looked at my house on Streetview and I deduced this much:

1. It was summer. My car is parked in the driveway. I only have the car during the summer.
2. It was last year. The dead stumps of the trees are still on the street, the Council hadn't replanted them yet.
3. It was Friday. My neighbours have their recycling bins out.
4. The weather was overcast and generally miserable; sounds like last summer alright.

Google

I'm not really sure what to make of Google. Is it a benevolent force or am I just giving a major corporation endless ammunition? Who knows? I must certainly did not read the small print, despite ticking the box to the contrary. It probably doesn't pay to spend too much time thinking about these things; ah sure, it's all a big conspiracy really...

I use google daily; it supports my email and it hosts this blog. Incidentally, next week when I register for university, I will be given a @tcd.ie email address, which will also work off the Gmail platform. So whether I like it or not, Google and I are inextricably linked. Were we to part ways in the morning, it would be a rather messy and painful breakup.

Google is constantly modifying it's service and now one can select an image for one's home page. I've chosen this one; I call it the "Three Little Pigs" and I think that it strikes the right note between utter gayness and financial prudence.

The latest thing they they are offering is Google Instant (which isn't available in Ireland yet). This is suggested search technology that instantly brings up multiple results, dependent on the characters typed - now there's no longer any need to hit the search button. Apparently it saves about 3 seconds per Google search, and that makes it "better". I dunno, I'm not convinced.

I quite like to go to Google and frame my question; i.e. think for a moment about what I am going to ask the oracle, rather than just chucking random words at it and rummaging through the results. I have never been a huge fun of suggested searches coming up when I start typing in the search bar. To be honest it kinda creeps me out, for the computer is taking note of everything I do; it is digitally and psychologically profiling me. For example, I often ask Google a question, beginning with "how do I..." and sometimes the suggestions are rather alarming! For instance:

How do I know I'm pregnant

How do I know if I'm depressed

How do I get my PPS number

How do I register with Fás

This would lead us to believe that I am a young girl, possibly pregnant, that I am unemployed, with rather limited prospects and I'm necking Prozac in order to cope with this grim reality. Google, you know me so well!

Priscilla's New Fella

Priscilla is my lovely bicycle. And this is Jeremy Clarkeson riding her new boyfriend! Ya wha'

Not so big brother will track you down.

This is the story of an American guy who remotely tracked his iPhone after it was stolen in LAX, It's fascinating, because it shows how easy it is for every single digital movement to be tracked. It's also very scary, because big brother is watching.

Have a read down through the article and see what he found. He was able to quote the thief's address, family details, car registration, who he called, where the phone was, where he slept... Scary!

Once upon a time

They actually had to advertise text messages to Irish people. They would be the "next big thing" or so we were told, yet they never took off... At decade later and I touch-text, ask any of my friends; they have sore thumbs trying to keep up with me.

Esat Digifone made this amazing ad for it though. The lovely Louth accent was a nice touch.

Spot the difference

I recently started using Picasa, which has facial recognition technology. It's absolutely terrifying. Not only is Big Brother watching you, he's also looking at all of your photographs, tagging all of the faces within them (including the crowds in the background) and then locating them on Googlemaps.

I really don't know how to feel about the whole thing. Amazing technology, but really scary at the same time.

However, it's not perfect. Look at the two photographs above. One is two plugs in a socket with a toaster and one is an Irish male. Picasa thinks they are the same thing. Maybe Picasa is on to something.

Fall of the firewall

Look at the three images above. Until this evening, if a Chinese person in mainland China googled "tiananmen square" they would only see the bottom picture. Now they can see all three, or at least Google no longer censures the top two. The Chinese government still have their nets, but nets have holes.

Speaking the Queen's English.

If you own an iPhone and colloquial Hiberno-English is not your first language, well maybe this new app will prove to be a helpful translation tool.

This particular entry is especially relevant if you are planning on visiting me in Drimnagh.