A-leafy-alla-joke-all

Taken from yesterday's Drivetime column, Joe O'Connor teaches us how to pronounce Eyjafjallajökull.

The volcano, in Iceland
Is fuming one more time
And for the poet there’s a problem
Cause I can’t find a rhyme.

Now, I’ve been told
I’ve a talent for the vocal
But I just can’t say the word
Eyjafjallajökull.

It’s twisting me tongue,
It’s racking my pallet
And it’s pounding in me brian
Like a hard swung mallet

The eruption’s in Iceland
But the ash cloud is local
Still I just can’t say it
Eyjafjallajökull.

It’s wrecking me head
And it’s causing frustration
Unclimbable mountain
Of tough pronounciation.

I’m trying and I’m crying
and I yet might beat it
but Eyjafjallajökull
just has me defeated.

See, I’d like to write a poem
But it’s causing me panic
That I can’t say the name
Of that nemesis volcanic.

Tried saying it early,
Tried saying it later
And I’m down in the dumps
What a miserable creatur.

It’s causing annoyance
That’s what it’s doing
Like an Irish politician
It’s blowing and spewing.

And up goes the lava
And down comes the flights
And Eyjafjallajökull
Gives me sleepless nights

And we’re queuing in the airports
Waiting on the planes
Hopping on the ferry boats
Wracking our brains.

The trip’s been cancelled
The service cut in half
And Eyjafjallajökull
Is having a laugh

And what does it mean?
What’s the translation?
No one seems to know
In the whole Irish nation.

We’re victims of nature
It’s a bit of a face
Eyjafjallajökull
Means a pain in the... neck!

Try it yourself
Every murderous syllable
Torture on your tongue
Like something evil and killable

Vulcanologists use it
Newsreaders refuse it
Eyjafjallajökull
Why did they choose it?

Iceland, a nice land
Of glaciers and Bjork,
But the banks there are buggered
And there’s thousands out of work

The economy’s battered
And bloodied and gorey
Eyjafjallajökull
What’s the bleeding story?!

Please say it with me listeners
Let’s say it together
Eyjafjallajökull
Means it’s dusty auld weather

If you shout it at your radio
Maybe I’ll learn
Eyjafjallajökull
Burn, baby, burn!

It’s after going off again!
You must be bloody jokin’
Wish to high heavens
It would give up the smokin’.

Travel plans pounded
Jumbo jets grounded
People must be wishin’
They could fly the planes around it.

I suppose
I should be happy I’m not stranded overseas
Cause pronunciation problems aren’t much
Compared to these

If I knew the right prayer
I’d be happy to pray it
Eyjafjallajökull,
I just wish I could say it

But saying such a mouthful
Is troublin’ and taxin’
But my tongue can’t cope
With an Icelandic accent

For it’s supercalafragilistic -
expialidochal
But I can’t get my head around
Eyjafjallajökull

Joe O'Connor