The week that's in it

This is a billboard illustrates the Easter message a church in New Zealand. Spot on.

Me new fella

I love this guy. He's feckin' hilarious. More of Remi to come.

Snowdrops and daffodils...

For no apparent reason, today's Irish Times reports that gay bullying is a still a problem in Ireland. Well let me be the first to congratulate them on that fantastic piece of investigative journalism.

National Lesbian of Ireland and ex-nun, Anna Nolan, warned that homophobic bullying can lead to young people feeling suicidal. In order to raise awareness of suicide prevention she is promoting Suicide Snowdrops. The snowdrops cost €3 and are available from M&S, Dunnes and wait for it, Veritas!

Veritas? Well it turns out that the oul' Veritas bookshop has a few books on homosexuality. It's books like these, which back up the misguided on notions of bigots that being gay is somehow wrong. So long as myths like these are propagated, people will feel that they are justified in their bullying.

Where did I put my marching band?

I'm sure many of you will have seen the "domino video" for this song by Ok Go. Whereas the consensus is that the video is amazing - it just annoys me though. I find those domino effect thingys really infuriating. My dislike for them is born out of a particularly tedious 20 minutes spent watching an installation in IMMA. It was a black and white domino effect film and in the end it just lead to nothing. It was pointless. It has spoiled the effect of them for me for life.

One comment that prevails as regards the song, This Too Shall Pass, is that the video is better than the song. Whereas it's great to make a cool video, the primary concern of a musicians is to make good music.

I find that this version of the song has more "umph!" to it and it's a fantastic idea for a video. Watch out for the end, see if you can see the camouflaged musicians in the final shot. Also, this was shot as in one take - live. How cool is that?

Make sure to water the girls

In Hungary, the menfolk water the women in a pre-Christian fertility ritual called "the watering of the girls."

Imagine were we to do that in Dublin; gangs of women in traditional costume (pyjamas) being doused with pails of hot soapy water, maybe even a little bit of Domestos for good measure. It brings a whole new meaning to the words "ethnic cleansing."

Nice little sketch

A little moleskin doodle. The artist is Jules George, who went off to fight with the British Army in Afghanistan. That's nice dear...

And in other news, the Pope is Catholic.

Ricky Martin has finally come out of the closet. Only took him what, ten years. BBC news describes reaction to the news as ranging from "support to indifference". Indifference might even be too strong a term.

I had an old boss who used say "If it walks like a duck, swims like a duck, quacks like a duck; you don't need a bloody ornithologist to tell you it's a duck."

Oh well, will we watch one of his videos for old time's sake? Should it be renamed "He gets banged"?

God Hates Signs

God love them. They must be really sad and lonely people.

(Thanks Shane.)

Nerd me up

Growing up as a nerdish child, I was often bullied by the other, "cool" kids. I was an awful misfit altogether. When I went to college it was a wonderful revelation, because all of the other kids in the class were operating at my level. For the first time, I wasn't put down for being smart and it felt great.

Anyway, I'm gonna start posting videos from TED onto this - which will be the icing on the rather nerdish cake.

Pot. Kettle. Black.

Hallmark are now specializing in cards for alcoholics, like this one that Niamh sent me.

(Thanks Niamh.)

John Cleese... on banks.

The top video is an ad that John Cleese did for Kaupthing - a large Icelandic bank (which went belly up and lead to all sorts of trouble.)

The bottom video is John Cleese from his How to Irritate People series (before he went belly up and lead to all sorts of trouble.)

Iceland puts the world's oldest trade out of business.

Iceland has passed a law making it illegal for a business to profit from the nudity of its employees; thus banning strip clubs and making prostitution illegal.

In case you didn't know, Iceland is run by a fiesty oul' lesbian granny called Joanna Sigurdardottir. In many ways, she is the archetypal feminist. This in itself is not a bad thing, however I feel that she is misguided with this legislation. Prohibition is never the answer, no matter how much we may dislike the vice in question.

Governments are not our mothers, or nannies, or indeed lesbian grandmothers. They should not decide what is good for the people or not. The choice of right and wrong must be made by each individual citizen. They should not ban the sale of alcohol, or drugs or sex even. People will always want these things, and they will find a way of procuring them. If prostitution is demonised and made illegal, the only result will be the the girls will have to work underground, where they are more likely to be preyed upon and where they will be most vulnerable.

Ironically, this piece of feminist legislation, designed to show that women are not for sale, will actually end up damaging those women who choose to sell themselves.

It's that time of the month again

Now, if you're squeamish, don't read on.

Women have vaginas - I'm not suggesting you have to be a fan; most of the readers of this blog aren't - but it's a fact of life. Another fact of life is that most women go through uncomfortable bio-degrading process once a month. To this end, the tampon has been invented. To the best of my knowledge, tampons are inserted into the vagina, although I'm open to correction on this.

Funnily enough, the companies who make tampons shy away from mentioning vaginas in their advertising, and on some American TV networks, ads with the word "vagina" in it have actually been banned.

Fifteen Seconds

Of pure Sue Sylvestor wickedness!

Rhyme Time

Hey diddle diddle

We're all on the fiddle

We never get up before noon.

We only take cash

Which we carefully stash

While we laugh by the light of the moon.

(Thanks Lorna.)

There was no palm, so we had to welcome the Lord with custard.

If you're expecting a visit from Jesus, you can welcome him with a non-Newtonian di-latent fluid.

Watch Stephen Fry get all embarrassed through his inadvertent innuendo. Brilliant.

Walking off a hangover, of a Sunday afternoon.

Myself and Niamh walked into town today. This is what we found.

Highpoints:

Icecream in Temple Bar.

The wonderful blue sign.

Finding a playground down in the docks.

Middlepoint:

The represenation of gingerfolk in Temple Bar.

The odd mirror thing in the playground.

Lowpoint:

The new Grand Canal Theatre. The front facade is absolutely awful looking. I'll have to reserve judgement on the building as a whole until I actually see a show there.

Having an off moment

But do they have a sprinkler system?

This established head shop in Temple Bar actually has an ATM in store. Then again, they do sell some really expensive bath salts.

Putting the Jo in Djouce

With the hour going forward this morning - ha! a rare example of something actually "going forward" I woke up at 8.57, old time. I then rang Dermot and asked him what time was it really: 7.57 and I was fine, 9.57 and there would be no hiking for me. Alas, it proved to the latter. Fortunately I managed to bring Jo out to Djouce yesterday afternoon. And here are the pics to prove it.

Notice how Jo goes from smiling at the start of the walk, to exhausted at the summit and then smiling beneath the mutiny on the way back. Great fun.

If you've got a cross going spare

Then you can bring it to the Hill of Crosses in Lithuania. It's a place of pilgrimage where the devout leave crosses. As you can see, they build up over time. It also served as a touchstone of independence in Soviet Era Lithuania. There will of course be a prize for the person who can correctly tell me how many crosses are in the picture.

The Church ain't all bad

Oh Whoppi. You gotta love her.

Gaying it up a bit

You must be wondering how on earth this blog could possibly get gayer. Well it has. Embrace it.

More mischief from Mel Brooks.

What not to say in Berlin.

Last week I was in Berlin and I couldn't get this tune of of my head. It's from The Producers by Mel Brooks.

The funny thing is that if the war went the other way, it's probably the type of musical theatre that would show in the West End. Albeit in that case, the comic element of Hitler being a big screaming Mary would probably not feature.

The dance routine is fantastic. They were much more daring with the 2005 re-make than with the original 1968 Gene Wilder film - although I suppose the passage of time and the healing of wounds had a lot to do with that.

Earth Hour

At 8.30pm this evening, I plan on turning on all of the lights in my house. I might even put on the oven, the dishwasher, the central heating, the electric shower and plug in every electrical appliance that I can find.

Earth Hour is the latest thing that Minister John Gormley has been promoting. Personally I can't see any advantage in a city turning out the lights for an hour, apart from the obvious gift that it would provide to burglars. In Dublin, our government's contribution to Earth hour is to plunge the Four Courts, Leinster House and Government Buildings into darkness. Bit late, I would feel; the lights went out there a very long time ago.

I love the quote from the Earth Hour sceptic who said "to hold a candles-and-champagne party indoors, on the mildest night of the year [she's Australian], for just one hour, shows the whole thing is green tokenism. Moreover, both candles and champagne emit carbon dioxide."

Ye Ould Roller Disco

It appears that roller discos aren't a new concept. This is a scene taken from Heaven's Gate - film so long and so expensive to produce that it nearly bankrupted MGM studios. The end result was a film that was four hours long and was so cobbled and cut that it made no sense whatsoever.

This scene is wonderful. A rollerball hooley. And isn't the fiddle player just gorgeous!

The video above is the Heaven's Gate waltz which my dad has taken to playing on the concertina. It's beautiful, fun and romantic.

1. Collect B.Arch. 2. Collect dole cheque.

I am saddened to learn of the demise of Murray O'Laoire today. One of the state's best architecture firms went to the wall today, with the loss of all 120 jobs.

Now Sweary Mary (Educational and Skills) and Dev Óg (Social Protection) can fight it out as both of their government departments do absolutely nothing to find re-employment for these highly trained personnel. It's days like today that I think I should pack my bags and move to a nice, well-run country - Zimbabwe for example.

It's a real pity, because they did some really nice work.

Splitters!

It has been a source of much heartbreak for me that the Dublin Gay Theatre Festival has gone down the self-destructive road of a split. It means that this May there will be two rival theatre festivals, both with astonishingly similar names - the Absolut Dublin Gay Theatre Festival and the International Dublin Gay Theatre Festival - both competing for the same audience and both being nasty and bitchy to one another.

I have had some wonderful times volunteering for the Gay Theatre Festival (the original, before the split) and it is upsetting for me to think that something that was once so wonderful, has now become a negative force within our city.

On the upside however, some smartarse on Facebook has set up the Gay Peoples' Theatre Front as a pisstake on the whole situation. I think it's bang on and feckin' hilarious!

She really should have gone to Specasavers!

Ireland on film. Or not.

This fantastic Specsavers ad was actually filmed in the Faroe Islands. The seanfhear in the geansaí, the sheepdog and Mo Ghile Mear soundtrack would all lead the viewer to think that it is Ireland, but it's just a deception.

Turn your swords into ploughshares.

Kenyan authorities destroying piles of guns in Nairobi yesterday. Imagine the pollution, not that an AK-47 can actually be described as environmentally-friendly either. Good riddance!

In France, even the whores go on strike.

French prostitutes took to the streets yesterday against government plans to legalise brothels. The sex workers were protesting that such a move would result in them losing their independence and would instead subject them to working for 'a company.'

I would like to point about that this is possibly the most beautifully bohemian protest march I've come across. Also I would like to express my dismay for linking to the Daily Mail, but the NZ Herald was scant in its details.

Imagine you'd a really big X ray machine. No, bigger than that.

Well then you could make x-ray art, like this fella here. The artist's name is Nick Veasy and he used a cargo scanner (HM Customs) to make the images.

There's something kinda creepy about the mother and child one, probably becuase it should be maternal but isn't. Also the hands at the computer kinda freaks me out; it just shows that beneath it all, we're just a collection of carbonate.

Saved by our woeful rail network

This poor chap went to a head shop and bought some Wild Cat bathsalts at €35 a gram. It was probably the most expensive bath he ever had. Silly billy ingested them instead of giving himself a good scrub and as a result he had a psychotic episode, ending up at railway line in the middle of the night waiting to throw himself under a train.

Well, fortunately for him, it's Ireland, and we barely have trains during the day time, never mind at night. He did however manage to stab himself in the wrist with a screwdriver, which he brought along as a backup plan just in case the train never came.

Naturally, he now calls for all head shops to be closed. Glad to see that he has taken a mature view of his own stupidity. Unfortunately for us, he is not the only person displaying a dazzling lack of maturity when dealing with head shops. Oh well, at least the reactionary prohibitionist lobby has one more member.

Are you a friend of Iris?

In pre-decrim America, it was quite common for homosexual men to approach one another at parties and ask "are you a friend of Dorothy?" Well now it appears that closet DUP voters are in Northern Ireland are now trying something similar.

"Are you a friend of Iris?" If so, would you like to come to dinner? Yes, it's a dupper, or, for those not in the know, supper with the DUP. Dinner parties are lovely things. The only problem with a normal dinner party is that "if you admit being a DUP voter it all goes terribly quiet and everyone suddenly has to leave." Some people just don't like the taste of bigotry.

Dupper Club however serves up tradition DUP fare of fine food, irrational hatred and sectarianism. "Say Ian, would you please pass me the sash, I mean, salt."

And on an aside, it appears that the dinner hosts featured in the Irish Times article are both friends of Iris and friends of Dorothy. I wonder, would those two gals get along.

Speaking of pratts

As part of my research for my college project, I was looking up the Pratt Institute in New York. And speaking of pratts, I thought of this.

Urban gardening

Would you like a patch of ground that you can call your own? Have you got a spare bedroom that's going fallow? Would you like to boost your vegetable output, perhaps from the attic or the coalshed?

I spied this down at NCAD earlier. It was in the sculpture section. I do hope that the art student who produced it will be flattered that I thought it cool enough to take a picture of, rather than so seriously aggrieved that they will hunt me down and bludgeon me with a shovel.

In case you'll need me, I'll be hiding in the coal shed, clutching a pickaxe and trying to start a grow shop of my own.

Tranny Tailoring

Ladies with broad shoulders and certain male endowments will be delighted to learn that Fashion students in NCAD are busy embroidering away, tailoring to their every need - as I spied on this mannequin earlier.

It reminded me of Anne from Little Britain; something to do with the shoulders...

I never thought I'd be taking dressing tips from Sue Sylvester.

Gerry Claffey this is especially for you.

(Thanks Niamh.)

Civil Partnership Bill comes under criticism, this time from straight couples.

Dermot Ahern's Civil Partnership Bill will rear its ugly head in the Dáil once more tomorrow. As usual, it is coming under heavy criticism (not that that makes a blind bit of difference to our enlightened legislators).

The Irish Times reports that the bill has been criticised for its provisions as regards the property rights and entitlement of cohabiting couples, and also the legal redress that available after the dissolution of a partnership. It has been described as a windfall for gold-diggers and solicitors who stand to make a killing from the proposed legislation, while it has been criticised for "imposing the penalties of a failed marriage upon couples who may be trying out their relationship before marrying."

Ah greed. Where would we be without it.

Visit Britain*

Two old poofs have been turned away from a B&B in Berkshire, on the basis that they were two old poofs. (I know, people having sex at that age! Perish the thought!) Apparently the B&B owner was a Christian and the idea of having Sodom and Gemorrah in her upstairs bedroom was just too much to stomach.

On the one hand, I can agree with the owner. It is here family home that she is opening up and therefore she should have some degree of choice in who she admits. At the same time, refusing someone on the basis of their sexuality is the same as refusing them on the basis of gender or on the colour of their skin - so that is intrinsically wrong. I suppose the core issue here is that the woman has taken the Christian belief and let it interfere with her common sense. Jesus said to "love thy neighbour". Well John loves Michael, surely Mrs Wilkenson can't have a problem with that.

"Jesus Christ Almighty!" That will be a €25,000 fine.

I've just learned that we are to hold a referendum in the autumn on the "Blasphemy Law". Only in Ireland could you find a minister of justice so right-wing that he would enact an archaic blasphemy law in 2009. As is typical of our politicians, Ahern displays a cloud-cuckoo land attitude to day-to-day real life in this country.

With each passing day, Ireland weeps at the atrocities and the cover-ups of the Roman Catholic Church. Not only was this evil carried out by the Church, it was also aided and abetted by the institutions of the State. In the midst of all of this Ahern stands up and announces that he's introducing blasphemy legislation?! I wish that some TD had the balls to table a motion "This house moves to give the Minister for Justice a slap." Chances are that would pass 165:1.

This referendum is good news for three reasons: I will get a day's work as a Presiding Officer out of it. It will be undoubtedly be passed by a huge majority - giving Fianna Fail a slap that it so deserves. (Can we all line up and slap them individually?) And thirdly it will be a final sign to the Roman Catholic Church that there is no place for a theocracy in the Irish Republic.

Fall of the firewall

Look at the three images above. Until this evening, if a Chinese person in mainland China googled "tiananmen square" they would only see the bottom picture. Now they can see all three, or at least Google no longer censures the top two. The Chinese government still have their nets, but nets have holes.

Only 357 days left til Christmas

The queen is dead; long live the queen! - not if the hoards of angry gays at last Sunday's AMI had anything to do with it.

Firstly, may I bend my knee toward our new monarch, Miss Peaches Cream (possibly our youngest ever Queen Cailin). She was crowned amid great unrest amongst the peasants. I've never seen an AMI be brought to a close so quickly. It was a case of drop tabs and drop the safety curtain. Probably a good idea to put a layer of lead between the crew and the audience - who looked like they were going to start throwing in furniture.

In retrospect the judges' decision was entirely right. Whereas Opus Gei had been a very strong contender in Daywear and Swimwear, she bombed in Eveningwear. Not that the crowd would have told you that; they were too busy looking at her hot near-naked backup dancers. And unfortunately for Opus, that was all they were looking at. Her Eveningwear performance was unmemorable. I can't recall what she sang, and apparently neither could the judges. For at the end of the day, the focus must be one the contestant, and not on her incredibly hot backup dancers. It's a pity, for she was an excellent act, with excellent production values. Unfortunately for her, her director made the wrong call with her final number.

As a by the by, Miss Panti was excellent as ever and one was delighted with the standard of this year's interval acts the DC Cowboys and Chocolate Gateux. Time to take down the tinsel and put away the tree until next year. Well done Peaches! Long live the queen!

Oh scrubbers, we salute thee!

All filmed in front of a live BBC studio audience. Nothing I can say about this will do it justice. Just listen carefully!

Suddenly Ryanair seems attractive.

This fella from the North has decided to try and circumnavigate the globe in a gyrocopter. I looks much like a motorcycle side car with rotor blades. It seems a strange thing to survive cancer and then die doing something entirely stupid, but then to each his own. Any body fancy doing a pool on how long he'll last?

Colour. Like no other.

Ireland is beautiful. This is the view from the side of Maulin. Just look at that colour.

Graffiti

One of the few urban features that I liked about Szczecin was its graffiti. Here are some interesting examples.

Miss Szczecin 2010

A clear winner. This woman is the embodiment of the place.

Time to buy a new hat.

Further to my initial Husband Procurement post, I'm proud to announce that I've found a venue. It's the Chapel of Reconciliation in Berlin. It's located on the site of the Berlin Wall. It's constructed from rammed earth, and it's beautifully simple and tranquil. It also has a solidity and an earthiest that comes from its own life-giving walls. This stands in peaceful contrast to the association of entrapment and death.

The chapel only holds about 40, so tickets will be scarce. Also, there's the little matter of finding the husband...